No quote now, no time. Must sleep! But first 1) I'm alive 2) I had fun 3) I will post for real tomorrow 4) this is fun too:

The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain
Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave
Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names......

Use the third letter of your first name to determine
your new first name:
a = poopsie b = lumpy c = buttercup
d = gadget e = crusty f = greasy
g = fluffy h = cheeseball i = chim-chim
j = stinky k = flunky l = boobie
m = pinky n = zippy o = goober
p = doofus q = slimy r = loopy
s = snotty t = tootie u = dorkey
v = squeezit w = oprah x = skipper
y = dinky z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine
the first half of your new last name:
a = apple b = toilet c = giggle
d = burger e = girdle f = barf
g = lizard h = waffle i = cootie
j = monkey k = potty l = liver
m = banana n = rhino o = bubble
p = hamster q = toad r = gizzard
s = pizza t = gerbil u = chicken
v = pickle w = chuckle x = tofu
y = gorilla z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine
the second half of your new last name:
a = head b = mouth c = face
d = nose e = tush f = breath
g = pants h = shorts i = lips
j = honker k = butt l = brain
m = tushie n = chunks o = hiney
p = biscuits q = toes r = buns
s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles
v = kisser w = squirt x = humperdinck
y = brains z = juice

Just call me Zippy Apple-Buns