My Life as the Emotional Equivalent of Kingda Ka

When I last posted here, my life was going fantastically. Of course, precisely a week later, things were not going so well, and life has had some virulently dramatic ups and downs since then. My classes are still totally fun (minus my TA period), play practice still tends to be the highlight of my day, and when we taped our episode of High-Five on the 5th, which was a total blast. The thing is, despite all of this really great stuff that's been going on in my life, one issue has dragging me down. A part of me feels like I have a big decision to make, like I need to take action and then live with the consequences. The other part of me feels like I'm stuck with no options whatsoever, like I can move neither forward or backward, and I'm just waiting for something to happen, because no matter what I do, it will yield the same result as ever.

What I am referring to is my current situation _____________________*. ______frustrate me to no end. I feel like there always has and always will be _______________________________well...__________. It's like every time __________, there's something _______________________ happening.

In __________ it was ______. I ________, __________ me, then ______________________________. ___ broke________. It's hard ___________________________________ a person.

It wasn't until __________________I got really ____________ again. ________ seemed perfect _______ in every way, and _____________ a very long time, __________________________________. _________. It's hard _____________________________________________.

That same year ______________, ______________________, and I wasn't ____________________. It's hard to have ___________________________.

At the end __________, _____________________. I couldn't stop ____________, and I had _______________. In reality, ______________ good ___________, and if it weren't for the fact ________________, _______________________. Things as they are, _________________________irreconcilable _________________________. ________________________________ doesn't help either. ___________________________________________________opposite directions.

In _____________, _______________ directed elsewhere, and, to be honest, ___________________. ___ intensely _____________, ______________...but _________________. It seems that ___________________. ______________, it's because _______________________________________. This makes ________________________________, ___ completely unattainable. Part of me wants to just ____________________________________, I'd be ____________________, ____________ I think ____________________________________________________, ___ using ________________________________________________ other. _____ the other part of me ____________, ___________________________________________________so much ____________________________________________________, __ nary _________, nor ________. It's hard ________________________________ cares more about __________ the possibility ________.

While the memories of __________________ still _________, _____ and ____ are ______________________ crazy. ______________ throughout ______________, even though _____________________________________________, and _________________________ everyone, I can't really tell ________________. _______________________________________________ dismayed ____________ positively ill, _____________________________________________________. I've barely ______________, _______I think _______________. ___________ should ____________, but I don't want to _______________. As far as _________________, it's been __________________ "__, ______________________!" _________________________, _____________________similar _____________________________, __________ unsure of ___________. Of course, the fact that ____________________________ "_______" ________________ doesn't help _____________.

So right now, _____(______________) ___________________ life an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I'm on top of the world, and other times I feel like ________________________. Hopefully things will all work out soon. If I got my way, this problem would end with ____________________________________________________, I know that God's way is always better, and if he wants me to come out of this with ___________________, or some other ___, or ________________ at all, I know that he'll take care of me and make everything work out all right.

*This post has been edited from its original version. It has been formatted to...not be incriminating.


Anyway the thing is well I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen